My focus the last several months has really been on getting my book done. The reading, editing, re-reviewing chapters; the cover design; the interior layout… all of it. It all takes time and energy and skill and knowledge – and thank goodness I have a team of experienced people around me to help get it over the finish line! (you all know who you are *wink*)
With all my energy being directed towards my book, our pantry has gotten a little, um, empty. Now, it’s not empty in the sense of not having anything in it at all. Our cupboards are not bare by anyone’s standards. There are staples like vinegar, peanut butter and pasta, and our freezer is packed full (literally – I really can’t shove anything else in there) of frozen veggies and Trader Joe’s skillet meals (YUM!). But, ask Zackery and Brayden what they want for breakfast and then also in their lunch, and my answer the past week has been, “We don’t have that, it’s on the list.”
We’re all out of the apple cereal bars. We have the strawberry, greek yogurt ones, but they won’t eat them. There’s no sandwich bread – the “normal” kind – other than 100 calorie sandwich thins. Nope, not good enough for Zackery’s lunch. The mini bagels won’t do, nor will a hot dog or hamburger bun. We’re all out of tortillas so a quesadilla is out of the question. The frozen waffles have all been eaten and the black beans are also gone. Yes, there’s PLENTY in the house to eat, but not according to the kids.
Part of me doesn’t blame them for wanting what they want. I was once a very picky eater – I mean super picky! Nothing on my plate could touch anything else, and have mercy if there was any kind of sauce or dressing. Everything had to be plain, including salad. Just plain old ice burg lettuce with a couple slices of peeled cucumber. Zackery is getting better. He’ll eat almost anything now, and he’s beginning to have quite the refined palette (like his mommy does now too). Brayden, however, he’s how I was. Plain this, plain that. Always the same, every day.
So, this morning after dropping Zackery at school, I drove the six minutes to the grocery store. I knew it would be a full-cart trip (we also were completely out of napkins and hand soap and a few other necessary household items), and I headed over to where the carts were all lined up. I attempted to grab one. It was stuck. Wouldn’t budge. It was attached to the one behind it. I didn’t need two carts, just one (although I probably could have filled up two!). Just then a nice elderly couple walked over with their cart. “You can have this one,” the man said as he and his wife took their four little bags of groceries out to walk them back to their car. “Oh, thank you!” I said, and we engaged in some polite conversation about how the cart was already warmed up for me and ready to go.
I walked past the “welcoming committee” – a man wearing a Mickey Mouse tie. I always intend to smile at the people welcoming the shoppers right inside the door. It’s their job to welcome me, so the least I can do is acknowledge them back with a smile. He said his usual greeting and I responded back, my words accompanied by a smile. Okay, I really can’t remember exactly what I said – forgive me – but I do remember his tie!
I did my shopping, found a line that was in perfect timing – the man ahead was paying and the conveyor belt was just about clear. I loaded up my groceries and such and then had a really pleasant conversation with the cashier. It was surprising because usually at this particular store the cashiers are not always so chatty, but today was different. The store manager even came over (I believe the cashier was done with her shift and was getting ready to close out) and started asking me about the weather and if it was getting warm outside. Yes, trite conversation, but none the less she was making an effort to be friendly.
On my way out I exchanged pleasantries again with the man with the Mickey Mouse tie. I got to my car, unloaded, and the man who had just parked next to me said, “I’ll take that cart from you. I’m heading into the store anyway.” Cool!
I honestly was dreading going to the store this morning. Didn’t want to go. There’s better things, more fun things, more productive things I could be doing with my time – that was my thinking. BUT, I’m so glad I did go! Whatever dread or doubt or obligatory feelings I was having were completely wiped out by the friendly, helpful, welcoming people I encountered today. It really was good therapy!
There’s a part in my book where I reference what it was like when I first started feeling better after my PPD. I remember writing about how I would look forward to the grocery store because that was my escape. That’s where I would go to get away, to get a break – no kids, just me. The grocery store. Well, today, my friends, the grocery store was once again the place where I let it all go. I drove there in not the best of moods. Not a bad mood, but just tired. I left there with a smile on my face that will surely ripple through the afternoon, into the evening, and hopefully onto the faces of my family as well.
I remember the night I was finally able to make mac and cheese…victory!
Mmmm Yum! Nothing like homemade mac n’ cheese. 🙂