As parents, we are often correcting our children, telling them not to say something, no more potty talk, to “Watch your language!” But as adults, sometimes we need to check ourselves, to watch our OWN language.
I’m not talking about swearing or profanity here. I’m talking about positive language. Affirmations, beliefs, supportive statements. How we speak (and think) is often directly related to the outcome of our day, and in effect, our lives.
For example: the kids have made a mess, it’s time to go, you’re feeling rushed and you just know you’re going to be late. Initial instinct is to yell at them and get all upset and frustrated, telling them “you always make mommy late!” But stop. What if you took a moment to think before you speak (and hey, aren’t we teaching our children that same thing?), and instead come from a place of “I’m glad you were having fun…” (a happy kid is a much more pleasant kid to be around) “…and I know you will do a great job cleaning up this mess you made…” (positive reinforcement – they made the mess, they’ll have to clean it up) “…but we are running late so let’s compromise and clean it up when we get home.” (wait, a compromise, am I serious? YES!)
Now I understand just as well as the rest of you, leaving the house with an un-cleaned mess is not ideal (in fact some of you, if you’re anything like me, will cringe as you close the door behind you knowing what your welcome home will be like later), BUT, would you rather be on time to where ever it is you’re going, or would you rather be resentful and unpleasant as you demand your children to clean up before you leave the house (and again, we all know that when there’s a time crunch, everything always takes longer). I guess you could kind of say this is a scenario of “pick your battles.”
Going back to the earlier statement of “you always make mommy late!” (and I’m no perfect Mom, I have those thoughts too… although less often now) – think about what kind of affirmation you’re putting out there? How do you think your kids feel when they hear you say something like that? What does the Universe think when you say something like that? Put your order in and that’s what you’ll get – your kids will always make you late.
Let’s look at a different scenario where your thoughts and language can affect the outcome. For example: you are planning for a big road trip, or working hard to finish an online class, or you have a phone call to make that you are not looking forward to. Pick one of these, or come up with your own scenario where something seems hard, challenging, uncomfortable, etc. Now what would you normally say or think about that situation?
Oh, the drive is going to suck, it’s going to be hot and long and we’re going to have to make so many potty stops, and the kids will fight. I sure hope they behave.
Oh, this class is just too hard, it’s taking way too much time and I probably won’t get a good grade anyway.
Oh, this phone call is so scary. They’ll probably yell at me and I won’t get what I need. It’s going to be hard and I’m scared and nervous.
Yes, big road trips can be hot and long, and you will probably have to make a lot of potty stops (depending on how old your kids are and where you’re going), but think about all the positive things that go with a big road trip. You’ll get to make lots of new memories, you’ll bond as a family, you’ll see new things, you’ll be able to stop as often as you need to (instead of stopping because you have to – notice the slight language difference?).
If you think your class will be hard, well then it probably will be. If you think it will be easy, there’s a better chance of that being the outcome. Think positive. Don’t set yourself up to fail from the start.
What’s so scary about the phone call? Have faith in yourself that the person you need to call is open and willing to have that perfect conversation with you. Believe that you’ll get the outcome you’re looking for. It’s just a telephone call, it’s not a Supreme Court trial. *wink*
So, I guess my big message here is exactly this: watch your language – and your thoughts! You’re right, I’m not an English major or an expert wordsmith, but I do know that changing your mindset, changing your beliefs, and changing the words that come out of your mouth can GREATLY impact your daily outcome and hence your entire life.
Go ahead, give it a shot. Pick something in your life that up until now you have always had a negative or dreading attitude towards. Change it. What would happen if you stuck some positive words in there instead? It’s easy – you can do it!
I’d love to hear what positive changes are happening in your life because of watching your language.
With Love & Mommy Hugs