Has it really been five years? 1,825 days? 43,800 hours? Over two million minutes? (Hopefully my math is correct…)
Brayden is officially a five-year old. No longer considered a toddler or a pre-schooler. No more getting into places for free or with a discount for being little – although honestly I haven’t considered him a toddler in quite some time. But where is the time going? Why do they have to grow up so fast?!
A couple of weeks ago I had dinner with my best friend. I told her how I am not the mom that I expected myself to be. I mother differently. I discipline differently. I do most everything differently than the vision I had in my head long before I had Brayden, or even Zack. You know what? That’s okay. How can any of us predict how we will think, act, behave or feel in the future? Without having a particular experience, we have no understanding of the reaction we may or may not have – physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.
So yes, Brayden turned five, and my life is nothing like how I had planned or expected. Do I regret it? Absolutely NOT!
The reflection I had this month put some things in perspective. I might not be doing what I thought I would be doing, and I am not in control of everything. In fact, there is actually very little that I have control over. Yeah, yeah, so I have a tendency to have some control issues, but that’s just my strive for not being perfect. I’m working on it. *wink
Speaking of perfection, which by the way doesn’t exist, let’s talk about Pinterest. Yes, you know, the place you go to find ideas for a delicious new recipe, a fun craft or decorating project, or that awesome birthday party. It’s also the place where you feel intimidated, un-crafty and far from creative. I mean seriously, who has time to make all those intricately adorned, perfectly placed, stunningly eye-catching creations – whatever they may be? Really?
Pinterest is a bad idea for all of us mothers who are trying so desperately to let go of our perfect super-mom syndrome.
I admit, I do have a Pinterest account and I do have some boards, but I rarely go on there and I rarely pin things (so yes, you can follow me, but don’t be disappointed when there’s nothing new). Generally, I turn to Pinterest when it’s time to plan a party, and in this case, Brayden’s fifth birthday. I would like to consider myself a fairly creative and crafty person, so why I need to torture myself on Pinterest is besides me, but never-the-less, there I go.
Brayden wanted a Lego Avengers Superhero party – specific, yes! I found several ideas for games, decorations, snacks and treats, goodie bags and on and on. Everything looked fairly easy to create and do, as long as I had the supplies… and the time. As the party got closer, and nothing was done – not even his cake had been ordered (and I very seriously contemplated making it myself; I can bake, I’ve watched Duff on FoodNetwork – I could do it if I had to), I had to start being realistic with myself.
Brayden wouldn’t really care if we didn’t have twelve themed games, hand-made snacks or the house turned into the Avengers headquarters. He just wanted his friends, a cake (from anywhere as long as it was chocolate), and a couple things to do. I was putting extra pressure on myself to deliver the perfect party – but wait, I’m not an event planner or party host, I’m his MOM! That’s the job I’m good at, even if (as I mentioned earlier) I’m not the mom I thought I would be.
Long story short, I had three themed activities: Pin the star on Captain America’s shield; Hulk Smash; and a piñata filled with… not candy… Lego’s! Goodie bag items were bulk Avengers or Lego items I got fairly cheap online, in plain dollar store bags. We had Avengers crackers and gummies, water bottles in a cooler (with no extra, fancy label), and a cake from the grocery store bakery. The party was a success. Everyone was happy, including myself and especially Brayden. My husband even said that was one of the best birthday parties I had thrown (thanks, Hon).
So take that, Pinterest!
To be fair, I’m not bashing Pinterest, there certainly is value there, just so long as you don’t get obsessed with and strive for the perfection that hovers around. Nobody is perfect. Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to not do everything you see on the internet. Don’t compare yourself to those who post the constant pretty pictures – I guarantee, there is something you can do much better.
There is no such thing as Perfect Mom – she doesn’t exist.
It may have taken me five years to learn that, and I hope that for you, the lesson sinks in more quickly. Be yourself, always, because you are the best mom your kids could ever have!
My little angel snuggle bug boy is five. I still can’t believe it…
With Love and Mommy Hugs,
Pamela Zimmer