“Patience is a virtue.” Whoever said that must not have had kids – or maybe they did?
The past few months I’ve been telling myself that I am practicing patience – for many reasons (the first one being the most obvious in the plain fact that I have two young boys who don’t comprehend the idea of urgency, as in do it now – unless it is of course something they want, need or have to do, see, eat or grab).
The second reason being that it’s not the “right” time to start my business (Love & Mommy Hugs). It’s kind of crazy, because I’ve had this passion, this calling digging inside me for quite some time and to have to stuff it back in doesn’t seem fair. But I stop, take a moment and remind myself the WHY of what I’m doing.
I’m a stay-at-home Mom. I love being a stay-at-home Mom. I (hate is too strong a word) often sometimes resent being a stay-at-home Mom. There are so many things I want to do. So many people I want to help, to inspire, to heal. I want to do it NOW! (I hear that a lot, so it’s really okay if I say it too). Then reality strikes and whispers in a soft scream “patience, my dear.”
Yeah, yeah, patience. Here’s what I have to say to you, Madam Patience: I will wait my due time, but in the meantime I will prepare myself so that when the time is “right” (and when is anything ever the perfect right time? I mean, really?) I will be ready to pounce into the world with all I’ve got. I’ll be ready to speak, ready to lead, ready to share. I challenge you oh mighty Patience… okay, feeling a little over-dramatic right now but what the heck, it’s my blog. I can pretend I’m all that. *wink* *wink*
Don’t get me wrong, I am glad I’m doing what I’m doing. I’m glad I’m home every day with Zack to help him do his homework, and to be proud of how much he is learning. I’m glad I get to play Thomas and all the other fun, imaginative things that Brayden comes up with daily. I’m glad I get to capture cuteness in both my boys on a regular basis with a billion pictures of exactly the same pose. I’m glad I remember the why of becoming a stay-at-home Mom. But sometimes I just get antsy that I want to get my stuff going. I don’t want women to suffer through what I went through. I know there’s a need and I know I can be part of the solution.
Patience. Yes, I know… patience.
To top things off, today as we are driving home from school at approximately 3:08pm, stuck behind the usual line of cars pulling in and pulling out after picking up their own kids, inching forward one by one until it is our turn at the stop sign, properly stopping at a safe distance from the halted school bus down the street letting it’s one last child out and waiting responsibly until that one child reaches the open door of his house, greeted by no one other than I can assume is his Mom or Dad…. Zackery has to pee. What?! “Mom, go faster I really have to go and I can’t hold it!” To which I calmly (well, I was freaking out inside but didn’t want to let on that I was afraid he was gonna pee his pants) replied, “Just hold it 2 more minutes, be patient.” 🙂
You’re right, it’s not the WHAT but the WHY. And what you’re doing now is important, and–trust me on this–will be gone very soon, and then you’ll miss it. Kids grow up so fast.
Your wishes and plans and dreams don’t have to be put on a shelf in the meantime, though. Can you keep the seed alive but tuck in the scope and magnitude for awhile? What part of your desire to help and heal can be just one person at a time, for now?
Thanks, Marylin. I have to always remind myself that my little boys won’t be little forever, and when they’re grown I’ll have all the time I want to wish them back to being little.
I’m trying to do SOMETHING for building my business while I can’t devote 100% of my time to it yet. There are lots of little things I can do – blog about it, finish my book, and even go talk to a new Mommy group every so often. All manageable things indeed. 🙂
Hello and thanks for stopping by! Congratulations on baby Lane. 🙂
I know what you’re experiencing too, as I went back to work after my 1st son, and it was SO hard to leave the house every morning. I do cherish this opportunity I have now, to be a full time Mom for both my boys now. I wouldn’t trade it for a thing, I just have to remind myself that they won’t be little forever and to cherish this time I have. If I’m patient and keep working hard, my time will come.
My goal and passion is to support women with or at risk of postpartum depression. I had it pretty bad myself, and I want to be a light of inspiration for other women. There are little ways I can work on that while I’m home – and I’m going to be focusing on those this year. Thanks for asking. 🙂
Thanks again for finding me. Please stop by again! 🙂
Thanks for the support! It is something that needs more awareness, so if I can bring a little bit into the world and help even just one person, than that’s what I’ll do. 🙂
Oh, and good luck with figuring out how to be home with Lane!
I get it, so glad to be able to do this and that. I really tried to make Sunday afternoons my day but still ended up playing Legos. While I do secretly enjoy building stuff, it was what I REALLY wanted to do. It so hard to even think sometimes. But you are right, do what you can do so that you’ll be ready when the time comes.
I hated working when my daughter was small (but I was a single mom). I love that she works part time around the children’s schedules (because she also has ME).
Patience. Ha ha. What goes around, comes around? How did Zackery make out?
Thanks, Tess. 🙂
Zackery made it – barely. He was pretty much in the bathroom with his pants down to his knees before I even turned the car off. Poor guy (but atleast there was NO accident!). 🙂
I am so familiar with that tug of having your own dreams and aspirations. It is so hard to be patient! I have my own dreams and find that while it may take me longer than if I didn’t have my children, it is still possible. Patience is a virtue, but a frustrating virtue!
Thanks Stacey. Yes, patience is a frustrating virtue for sure! But I still wouldn’t trade my time at home with my boys. Someday, we (hopefully) will all be able to live our dreams. Best to you!