Last week sucked. Yes, I said it. A “bad” word: sucked. I blame part of it on hormones and (sorry guys) the monthly visitor that I’ve about had enough of. I’m ready for post-menopause…
Overall, and in general, yes I’m still quite happy. There’s really nothing to be unhappy about (perspective here), but things happened that I wasn’t expecting, and wasn’t entirely prepared for, and yet had to deal with them in the best way I knew how. The one thing that really got me down was dealing with Zackery and a bad choice at school. I won’t go into details, it’s not necessary, but I will say I was disappointed. Shocked, actually.
Wednesday afternoon I got a call from the Dean at Zack’s school. As soon as I saw the number I thought either he’s sick, or something bad happened. Well, he wasn’t sick (thankfully), but unfortunately he was part of a situation where he chose wrong, and since has received some consequences. The school did what they could (within their guidelines, without being too harsh), and he lost his recess at lunch the next day. At home, it was a different story.
Part of me feels sad, because who likes to see their child hurting, but the other half of me knows if I don’t discipline him now, while he’s young, it will just be that much more likely to happen again. It wasn’t okay what he did, and he is experiencing the consequence of making that choice. Next time, I pray he will stop and think first, giving him time to make the good choice, which I know he knows the difference of.
Everyone knows he loves Lego’s. It’s a part of him. His day isn’t complete if he can’t play with them. The first thing I did as his consequence is take away Lego Camp (an after school program for four weeks on Wednesdays at his school) – that almost made me cry (because I knew how upset he would be that he couldn’t go, and I literally had ten minutes before school was to get out and the bell would ring and he would be walking down the hall, off to the library for Lego Camp). When I called the school back after hanging up the phone with the Dean, and I told the Administrator in the office to tell Zackery NOT to go to Lego Camp, and to go home with his ride as planned, I could tell they knew I meant business.
Then, Zack’s Legos (all but the few I forgot about in the drawer of the play table) got taken away and put into a cabinet where he couldn’t get to them. The play room looks empty in comparison to how it usually is (and it’s actually kind of nice to not have all those bricks strewn across the floor like little land mines). He comes in the house and sees they are gone. Sad face for him, “let’s have a talk” face for me.
So we went into his room and I sat him down on his bed and asked him what happened at school that day. We talked, I was firm, but I didn’t yell at him (big step for me – I’ve learned yelling doesn’t help either one of us). I told him he lost Legos for at least a week, and no Lego Camp. He had to write letters of apology, do his homework, sit and read, and that was pretty much how the rest of his day was to go.
Tomorrow will be one week. Originally I said he would have his Legos taken away for one week. Now I’m not so sure he will be getting them back quite yet. He says he’s learned his lesson, and maybe (hopefully) he has, but he’s still so happy and carefree. Is this just him? A happy little six year old? Has he truly learned his lesson (so much as he will never, ever, ever do anything like that again)? Or has it really not sunk in yet? Will another week of no Legos, another week of being in consequence, will that get through to him?
Parenting is tough, especially when you have to make the hard decisions that you know will make your child sad. It’s like the quote I posted on my Facebook wall earlier today said… if you give in to your children every time, they will grow up to feel entitled and ungrateful. That is certainly NOT how we are raising our children (or at least not how we WANT to).
There’s good choices, and there’s bad choices. Everything is a choice – for him, for me. I know Zack is a good kid. I know I’m a good Mother. Now it’s my choice to help him always make the right choice. To be a leader, to be a good example. I think I have my answer of what I will do, and I know in the long run he’ll understand why I am making this choice. I love my boys and it hurts me when they make bad choices. It’s a reflection of me and my parenting. Thank goodness they are young and we can make those corrections now, building the foundation for a future of truth and good choices.
Discipline is not fun, but it is so very necessary.