I know you all have been anxiously awaiting this post. And I’ve been anxiously preparing to write it, although sometimes when I have more than adequate time I’m feeling less than inspired and motivated, and vice versa. Why is it always 3 am when I’m wide awake and can’t sleep that I get the best ideas and the urge to write? Mama needs her sleep…
Okay, so back to today. The blog post for now. The one that’s left you hanging after that last one – like how you just can’t WAIT for the season premiere of whatever time-sucking show(s) you’re into. (Please tell me there’s at least one of you out there that can’t wait for the notification “there’s a new post on PamelaZimmer”.)
If you’re new to me you might not recall the time in January, 2014 where I faced terrifying fears drowned in uncontrollable tears. The time I walked across broken shards of glass. It was a transformational experience in three phases. Before, during and after. I won’t go into details and I’m not going to write about it all over again. Instead, just go read it for yourself here: It’s Okay to Cry.
Last month, again at my Sassy Mastermind Retreat, I had a transformational experience. To be honest, it’s rare (actually impossible) to not have a transformational experience when put in a room full of heart-centered entrepreneurs, a.k.a. Sassies. But that’s not the point I’m trying to make here. What I’m getting to is that two and a half years later, I once again walked across a bed of broken glass. Except this time it was a completely different, yet just as transformational, experience.
Part of me knew it was coming. I could sense a powerful, physical activity. Different than some of the past “Sassy activities” from past retreats. They’ve all been great, but I am partial to the ones that test me and push me physically. Probably because they are the hardest ones for me to get past, so they have the biggest internal transformation. And also because I like to see just how bad-ass I am. *wink* I mean, I had kids naturally and that wasn’t easy, so I know my body is capable of much more than I give it credit for. Sometimes I like to test that.
My first clue that this was a physical activity was the stack of blank cards and picture frames on the tables. Back in 2014 we had to write a statement on a blank card, and then later got a frame to put it in. The theme was Ignite 2014. My statement: “I ignite faith and courage.”
So I thought to myself, either we’re doing a glass walk again or walking on fire. Both of which were totally fine with me. Always (well, always in the sense of within that past several years) wanted to walk on fire (á la Tony Robbins), and heck I already walked on glass once.
It was the same story with the waiver. Signing it didn’t mean we had to participate, it just meant we were able to. It was a choice. An individual choice. A choice with no meaning, other than the meaning you impose upon yourself.
This time, instead of signing the waiver, trembling while I thought they can’t be serious?! We’re not really going to walk on glass! I signed the waiver and thought bring it on! I am READY!
I saw a few people get really nervous, ask questions, question the process and the activity and the experience. I saw myself in them, two and a half years ago, and I wished I could tell them about it… but that would take away from their experience. An experience they needed to have for themselves – however that looked, however it played out.
So I followed directions – which I am so good at (when I want to be, of course) – and in silence I picked up my frame, in which was my card, upon which I had written: “Faith… in God, in myself.”
In silence I walked outside to the grassy area where our activity was waiting.
The setup, the instruction, even the teacher and host of the activity was the same. Two-by-four frames around a bed of broken wine bottles (and no, I had no part in drinking any of them…). Sharp, jagged, angry pieces of glass.
As I awaited my turn, watching those go before me, supporting them in the space we had all created, I was anxious. But this anxious feeling was not anything like the anxious feeling from the last time. There were no tears, no trembling, no fear. This time, my anxiousness was in the form of excitement. I couldn’t wait to do it! I was ready to conquer this in such a different way than I had done before.
Standing at the start of the next four steps, I took a deep breath, relaxed my shoulders, closed my eyes and completely trusted myself to walk across that broken glass. I went slow. I felt every particle under my feet, adjusting as I needed, as instructed. Nothing hurt. Nothing phased me. Nothing penetrated my concentration. I kept breathing, I kept my eyes closed, I kept trusting. I didn’t need to see my next step. I just needed to feel it, and let all my weight be supported by it, before I lifted up to take the next step. I followed directions (this time completely willingly), and I conquered that glass walk with grace, beauty and peace. And I’m not just saying that… that is what people told me afterwards. And that is what I felt.
Never have I felt so peaceful and in control. Never have I trusted myself more. Never did I imagine that I would be excited to walk across broken glass… again.
That evening as I’m sitting in my hotel room, I searched for the original post I wrote two and a half years ago, and I read it. I searched for the original photos of me – remembering the tears and anguish and such fear across my face. Do you know what I saw when I found those photos? I saw someone so little and afraid. I saw a girl that I hardly recognize anymore.
Today, the picture I see is of a powerful, confident, peaceful woman. I see someone transformed. I see the real me.
The theme of our Sassy Mastermind Retreat this time was “Look how far you’ve come.” I don’t think I could have expressed that any more perfectly than by experiencing the same activity, but in a completely transformed way. There is nothing else I can do, but to look back and say to myself, look how far you’ve come.
I believe in what I’m doing, and I whole heartedly believe that if you want to succeed in business, you have to incorporate a component of personal growth. They go hand in hand. When your work is your passion, your mission, there is no separating the two. Business growth is personal growth. You can’t have one without the other, and I would argue that the personal growth has to come before the business growth. Trust me, I’ve tried it the other way around, and it always comes back to this: “What am I doing to hold myself back?”
You may agree with me, you may not, but I challenge you. What are you holding onto that is no longer serving you? What fear? What anxiety? What are you willing to try to push yourself, to test yourself, to grow? Try it, and then let me know how your business has grown because of the growth you experienced personally.
I believe you can do it – whatever “it” is. Don’t let fear stop you. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and trust yourself.
Curious about what it is to be a “Sassy”? Are you an entrepreneur? Own your own business? Ready to take it to the next level? Want to come experience my Mentor, Lisa Sasevich, in person for yourself? Join me in Las Vegas this October and be my friend and guest… Learn More (make sure you mention my name).
Want to have a private one-on-one conversation with me? I’d like to do that too! It’s easy, just follow the directions at this link: www.TalkWithPamela.com
Here’s to the BEST version of YOU!
Pamela Zimmer
Author, Speaker, Mentor