I haven’t written a blog post in a couple of weeks (three to be exact). The last one I wrote was about Mother’s Day. May has been an incredibly busy month, and no, that’s not an excuse, just sayin’ there’s been a lot going on.
I am not short on what to write about – thankfully! In fact, I have post-it notes and little pieces of paper all over my desk with blog post ideas, as well as on my phone and some still in my head (gosh I really hope I remember them LOL!). As the weeks have been rolling on by, and now we’re finally into June (I know, can you believe it?), I just feel compelled to write from my heart. To write about what my heart has been feeling lately. To share myself with you. I don’t intend it to be a long post (although who knows, once I get started it may just keep flowing out of me – so here’s your fair warning… I don’t really know how long this post will end up being).
On Tuesday I created a Facebook event and sent out an email letting people know about my book launch happening this coming Tuesday, June 3rd. It’s my book (I still feel weird saying that sometimes – like it’s a bad thing to own a book, but it’s true, it really is mine. I wrote it, it’s me on the cover – front and back – it’s my story.) about Postpartum Depression. Reclaim The Joy of Motherhood – How I Defeated Postpartum Depression.
It’s taken me just over one year to get the book done, and a year or so before that of birthing the idea, outlining the chapters and writing the first one. It’s consumed me – in both good ways and bad. It’s been my life. Now I’m “graduating” from “writing a book.” Now I can say “I’ve written a book.” There’s no more excuses lying in the “I’m still doing it” language. It’s real. It’s happening. I made it happen.
Nobody made me do it. Nobody pulled the words and my experiences into something beautiful (well, except my editorial team – you know who you are, and it’s true what they say… It takes a village).
I truly am honored and humbled and scared and excited and anxious and stunned and proud and afraid and powerful. I’ll leave the last one at that. I feel powerful. I am powerful. Have you ever believed yourself to be powerful?
The words that I wrote in that book – in MY book – they mean something. They are validation that my entire experience going through Postpartum Depression was real. I didn’t make it up. It wasn’t in my head. I didn’t make it sound worse than it actually was. It was the worst experience of my life. A dark, dark, terrorizing time and place. But now, here today, as I write this… I am literally smiling at my computer screen. Thankful and grateful that I chose to be powerful and share my story.
Who am I to share my life with you? Who am I to think that anyone cares, that you care? Who am I to deserve this feeling of power?
Yes, all those questions constantly haunt me, but it’s because of these past two years of my life that I’ve learned not to fear my power, but to harness it and use it help others. Sharing my story will help others. It will show them they are not alone. It will give them hope – you cannot move forward, in anything, without hope.
I said earlier that I was just going to write from my heart, whatever came out. This is what’s inside my heart today. My book. I did it. I had help. Everyone deserves help with their dreams. Asking for help is hard, it takes courage and strength. Do you have the courage and strength to ask for help in your life?
I guess one of the reasons I haven’t written all those other blog posts is because I am living this surreal dream right now. I need to solidify this moment and capture it on paper, as any writer would understand. I’m coming to the end of something, and not in the sense that it will be gone and closed forever, but my book is the end of one chapter, and the beginning of the next. Cliché, yes, I know, but it’s appropriate, and it’s true.
So, as I do what I can to promote my book launch (with the sincere and honest hope that it will act as a tool of hope and service – I’m not concerned about book sales or royalty profits – although I won’t lie; it would be nice – it’s not the reason I’m doing this, not the reason I wrote the book), I simply do that: what I can. I’m not stressing out, I’m not running around ragged and staying up all night working to get every last person I know to commit to buying the book. I’ve been through a few sleepless nights this past week as my mind won’t shut off – reminding me of all the things I should do: don’t forget this, and what about that. I’m not “shoulding” on myself. I’m at peace. Whatever happens will happen, and it will be perfect. I am in alignment with my purpose and my mission. It feels so good!
As I approach Tuesday, I am making a commitment to myself to remain calm and at peace. To remain happy. The happy mommy that I truly am. I will be present with my boys. I will put my phone down and look into their eyes. I will continue to take care of myself this week. I will become the person I set out to be: HAPPY!
With Love & Mommy Hugs,
Pamela Zimmer, author of Reclaim The Joy of Motherhood – How I Defeated Postpartum Depression
p.s. If you’d like to buy the book and support me in my mission to spread awareness of and help women heal from Postpartum Depression, here’s how:
On Tuesday, June 3rd, come to www.ReclaimTheJoyofMotherhood.com and you can buy my book straight from Amazon.com
With much love and appreciation, I thank you in advance, and I thank you for letting me be myself today – sharing from my authentic heart.