It’s been a helluva past few weeks! (To put it mildly…) Aside from getting the first draft of my Postpartum Depression book to my editor, and going through another round of antibiotics for Brayden for an ear infection, and celebrating Mother’s Day and birthdays (mine included – YAY!), and having only five more days of school left for Zackery – there really hasn’t been much going on. Ha! Okay, yes a little sarcasm tonight.
There’s a lot going on in my life right now (and honestly, with two young boys when isn’t there?), so it’s no wonder I’m feeling a little on edge lately. The thing that pushes me over is the constant. The constant talking, noise, questions, comments, screaming, fighting, bickering, whining, etc… There is constant chatter – not just in my head (yeah, I admit, I sometimes have little voices – shhh…), but literally in my house. Five minutes of quiet? Five seconds of quiet? Is that too much to ask? Can I just leave the room for ten seconds so I can pee in privacy or go into the kitchen to make dinner without having to worry about burning what ever is on the stove because someone threw something or someone got their feelings hurt or someone took a toy out of the hands of another someone? Can I, please?
Yes, it’s all part of parenting. That part I understand. And I get that I have two very unique, independent, stubborn individuals. One might say I have those same personality traits – good or bad – so it must run in the family. *Sigh* The hard part is keeping calm through it all. Getting a five-and-a-half year old and a two-will-be-three-in-twenty-nine-days-year old (still can’t believe my little angel baby will be three!) to listen when they are totally and completely engrossed in “their” little world of right and wrong. Yes, that is the hard part. Sometimes I find myself sounding like a broken record, saying their names over and over and over and over and… until they acknowledge that “hey, there’s actually someone trying to speak to me!”
And then, there are the other times, when it’s not so much me trying to get them to hear what I’m saying, but it’s them trying to talk over each other at the same time. I know I’m not the only one, but I really can’t understand either one of them when they’re both talking – let alone when one or both of them is whining or crying or yelling at or for me (and bless them, they are curious, anxious, smart, wonderful little boys who often times just want to learn – so I can’t hold that against them). Another *Sigh* Yes, that is the constant that drives me crazy. And it’s non-stop, from morning ’til night. From the second one or both of them is awake, until they are both eyes shut and happily off to sweet dream land.
It’s 8:05pm, and I have officially closed the question and comment period. The boys have been asleep for a short while now, I have my laptop and my pinot noir, and aside from the low volume of the tv in the background, it is quiet. Nobody is asking me a question, making a comment or declaration, or demanding I come do or help them with something. I know this period won’t last forever – in fact, I have less than twelve hours before it begins again – yikes!
So, cheers! Here’s to being able to turn off the constant for a while and let my mind recharge. It’s much needed!
Until next time…