When I was a little girl I used to think happiness meant growing up, getting married, living in a cute little house with a white picket fence, 2 cars, a dog, a cat and 2-1/2 kids (because that was the statistical “average” american family).
Today, I have learned that happiness comes from within. It doesn’t matter how much money I have or don’t have. It doesn’t matter how many clothes I have in my closet, what kind of car I drive or how “perfect” the house is that I live in. What matters, what makes me happy, is knowing that I am living out my purpose with passion.
“What is your purpose, Pamela?” you ask.
My purpose first and foremost is to be a Mother and take care of my family. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I’m doing a pretty darn good job. My kids love me, my husband loves me, and I honestly can say we have a happy house. My family is my everything. Without them I don’t know what I would do. They bring me joy, a little bit of frustration at times I will admit, and so so so much love. Love = happiness.
Second, my purpose is to help women heal from Postpartum Depression. This has become so much a part of me I can’t go a single day without thinking about all the ways I can (and will) do this. I go to sleep at night thinking about it, I wake up thinking about it. You could almost say it consumes my thoughts, but because I’m so passionate about it, it really doesn’t bother me. I welcome it, I enjoy it, it drives me.
I don’t recall when my mindset shifted from happiness being about material things to emotional and spiritual experiences, but I’m glad it did. Sure, all the “stuff” is great – it’s convenient and fun, but it doesn’t “mean” anything. What matters, what is most important, is how your heart feels. When my heart is full, I’m happy. And the more my heart fills up and overflows, the more love I can give to those around me, especially my blessed family. Fill my heart with love and I’m happy. Truly happy.
It’s simple – at least it seems simple, but it takes work. It’s hard to put myself first all the time (I’m still working on this… every day, every moment). There’s guilt, there’s a feeling of selfishness, there’s a feeling of not being the best Mom because I don’t put my kids first. What I want to tell you is that by putting myself first, I’m actually creating the best version of me. You’ve heard the oxygen mask metaphor (put yours on first and then help those around you). Same thing, same concept. Fill myself up first, then I can fill up all those around me. What good am I if I’m not at my best?
So yes, happiness for me now comes from within. I can’t blame anyone or anything when I’m not happy. I have the power to change that. I can pull myself out of a situation that isn’t serving me, I can react to a situation however I choose, I can love with all my heart. I choose to be happy!
My questions to you are this:
- What does happiness mean to you?
- Do you have a vision or idea of what happiness looks like?
- Where in your life are you putting yourself second, or third, or fourth, or…???
- What would your life look like if you did something self-honoring first?
- What steps are you going to take today to honor yourself and be the best you can be?
Remember what’s really important. It’s not the fancy car or brand name shoes. Don’t compare yourself to statistics or averages. You are special, you are unique. Find what makes your heart full and you will find your own personal happiness. 🙂
With love and mommy hugs.