It’s undeniable: “Netflix and chill” is the new motto for couples.
But recently I noticed that instead of actually watching a show when we are supposed to be “chilling,” both my husband and I end up glued to our phones. I’m usually getting sucked into a new photoset a friend posted on Facebook and he’s on Amazon or responding to emails.
It was one of those nights when I realized I needed to change the way my husband and I relaxed together.
Don’t get me wrong, this post isn’t going to be about telling you to put down your phone, turn off your TV and go for a hike. Technology has changed how we relax – and that’s okay!
In order to really “chill” while watching Netflix, I’d like to quickly revisit a concept I talked about in a previous blog post: spending vs experiencing time.
See, there’s nothing wrong with scrolling through Facebook or playing a game on your phone. The problem comes when you aren’t intentionally doing it, and when doing it negates the activity you are supposed to be participating in.
If the only activity you are engaging in is scrolling through Facebook photos, then you are experiencing the time. Otherwise, you’re just ‘clocking out’, or not really experiencing your time. You’re just spending it.
That’s why when my husband and I sit down to watch a TV show now, we both put our phones away. When we do this, we can both experience watching TV together. I encourage you to make similar rules. I’ve boiled down the concepts I use to “relax” with technology to 2 principles.
If you use the concept of experiencing time when engaging with technology to relax, you will focus on one thing.
In other words you’re keeping it simple. Instead of trying to multitask and focus on 2 things at once, you can do one thing and allow your brain to ‘rest’ and relax more.
Simplifying your life can do a lot to make the most of your time, I’ll be talking more about this in a future post.
As I mentioned above my husband and I have both agreed that when we are watching TV together we both put our phones away. The part I didn’t mention is what happens in the time BEFORE watching a show.
I don’t simply sit down next to him, turn on the TV and expect him to put his phone away. That wouldn’t be fair. He hadn’t agreed to watch TV with me, maybe his plan for the night is to find a new mountain bike on Amazon.
Sometimes we have work, and sometimes we both want to do our own thing. That’s fine! The key point here is that we communicate with each other about what we want to do. This makes sure that no matter what we are doing, we aren’t ‘dragging’ the other person along.
I’m sure you’ve experienced it yourself, but when you drag someone along, the other person is much more likely to pull out their phone and ‘tune out’.
Try these tips the next time you want to “Netflix and Chill” with your significant other or good friend. Comment below or on my Facebook Page and let me know how it goes!
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