When Pam called me and asked me to pick up a prescription for her, and then told me it was for PPD, my first thought was YES! Excitement that she was getting help! As soon as she told me she thought she had PPD and had had it since Zack was born, I said, ‘You’re absolutely correct!’ I hadn’t seen it until that moment, but when she brought it to my attention I could only agree one hundred percent. I was actually happy that something was wrong, that this wasn’t her true self. She was not herself because of an illness, and she could now figure out how to start the recovery process.
– Will, Pamela’s husband (an excerpt from Reclaim the Joy of Motherhood)
If you had told me, while I was in the depths of depression, that I wasn’t alone, I probably would have said, “yes, I know.” But the truth is that I had no idea.
You see, I had always prided myself on my strength and self-sufficiency (and still do!). But in the face of a depression that I could barely understand for myself, I was not really able to reach out and connect with the people who loved me.
It wasn’t until much later, as I was on my way back to health and happiness, that I truly saw just how much Will, my friends, and my family wanted to support me, and how much they cared about what I had gone through.
Have you ever asked your friends and family how your PPD affected them? You might be surprised at how deeply they felt your struggle, and how much they wanted to help. Or you might find that they were surprised when you finally admitted your pain!
I’ve said before that Will was my rock, and he really was. He helped me get through all of the daily challenges, the frightening nights, the foggy days. Being there alongside me as I struggled, of course he knew that something was wrong! For my friends Elisa and Courtney, however, it was less clear. I saw them less often, and was not always able to clearly express what was happening (or I tried to hide it). But once they found out, they have supported me and actively helped me follow through with healthy and happy decisions.
I truly had no idea that so much love and understanding was at arm’s reach, or just a phone call away. And now that I know, I will always feel loved and lovable.
If you’re comfortable talking about your PPD experience, here’s an exercise to do at home: ask the people in our life about how your PPD felt for them.
You don’t have to post their responses here, but if you are comfortable with sharing in the comments, I’d love to hear what you have learned.